Is that a cricket in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?

I'd like to apologize for the lack of all things bloggy last night. I was getting ready to yard sale it up today, and there was a crap ton of stuff to go through. And if you will recall my dire predictions from a few days ago about my kids being good one day and then the spawn of Satan the next, you will be interested to know that my kids have been really good for about three days now. However, I am REALLY scared. Because I know my kids. It's coming. You may not know where, when, how, or why, but you may definitely rest assured that it's coming.

So, all in all, a quiet few days in the Gray household.

As stated earlier, I've been having a yard sale today. And I have had *tons* of help. The kind of help mommies love but dread. It's cute though, Bryce wants to chat up every single person that pulls in the drive. In between peoples, I've been watching the Horrorfest or whatever on AMC. Between the baby and the yard sale, it took me about 4 1/2 hours to watch House of Wax, but hey, I got to watch Paris Hilton die again. Bonus!

But now, Bryce has stolen the tv for the Xbox, as Bryce is wont to do. So while I'm watching Darth Vader do his thang, I thought I'd catch up on my blog a bit.

But what to write about? Like I said, the ginger ninjas have been pretty good lately. And pretty good gingers=no blog fodder. So I'll tell you about something else that happened to me about 3 am yesterday morning.

It's been really nice, weather wise, in North Mississippi the past few weeks. That is, until the day before yesterday, when it turned off cold. Now I can hear my more Northerly and East Coast friends groaning. "Fifty degrees is NOT cold, Roxanne." Oh, but it is! When you are used to 100+ degree summers with humidity so thick it's like trying to walk through a brick wall, fifty degrees is a bit chilly. But I'm not the only thing around here that thinks so.

The bugs outside are apparently cold, too.

Because they are unerringly drawn inside to the inviting heat that radiates from my home. Thankfully, they're usually dead by the time I come across them, though. Like, 'Yeah, boys, we made it in, we can die now!" We get flies on occasion, but we mostly just get crickets. And spiders.

Water spiders.

Water spiders that have to have at least a two inch leg span. They are oh-my-God scary. Did I mention I hate bugs, but especially spiders? And Jeff thinks this phobia is funny. "Do you know how many spiders you eat in your sleep during your lifetime?" No, honey, I'd rather not. Please just let me sleep in ignorance of the spider buffet that obviously begins when I close my eyes for the night.

*sigh*

It's about 2:55 am yesterday morning. I was sleeping SOOOOO good when I hear, from someplace that seems very far away, "Rox, get up and cover the baby's eyes. I have to turn the light on." Now you'd think I'd argue since it's 3 am and he's going to turn on the glaring light in our bedroom. But no, I am out of the bed faster than you can blink. Because I know what it means when you have to jump up and turn the light on in the middle of the night. I live in the country, remember? It means that something was crawling on you, and whatever it was is obviously big enough to wake you up. So, shielding the baby's eyes from the light, all I can think about is how big this spider is gonna be.

The only thing worse than being awakened by an unseen insect is not being able to find it once the lights are on. Because no way in hell will I get back in that bed until I see whatever creepy crawlie that it was squished on the bottom of one of Jeff's boots. Covers are thrown back, completely disheveled, but no dice. Where is that bug???

But then we see it. Scurrying across the carpet towards the hall. Looking , in my mind, like something from a John Carpenter movie. "Oh, my God, Jeff, kill it! Quick!" But he's closer and sees what I don't see yet.

Just a dang cricket. Thank God.

Funny story, right? Not really, just one of those nighttime adventures couples have. What's funny actually came the next day.

Jeff has, with great masculinity, reasserted his ability to protect his family from dreaded insect plagues. How strong, how fearless, how powerful! Swoon! Fall at his feet in undying gratitude! Dressed like a fairytale princess! Oh, my prince, you've saved us!

Riiiiiight.

I hate bugs, but not THAT much.

Yesterday evening, he reminded me several times how he saved me from the horrific, evil cricket. He was like a kid telling it again! And how it was on him but crawling towards me. And how he kept his cool and didn't automatically fling it off on to me. And how he did all this without waking the baby. So I spent the evening inflating his ego. He doesn't get a lot of opportunity to 'save' me, lol.

So, you go, Babe! You are THE MAN.

P.s. Really glad it *was* just a cricket because, regardless of who it was on, it was in my bed. And spiders suck.



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