The bog of eternal stench...

I have figured out why I am so messed up as an adult. It's because I watched movies like Labyrinth when I was a child. But it's been years and years since I've seen it, and the memories of being terrified by all the goblins have slowly transformed into "Oh, my gosh, one of my favorite movies EVAH!" Remember, I haven't seen it in years.

So, Jeff's flipping through the guide for the next few days, and what does he see? Well, if you're not brain dead, you probably guessed Labyrinth. Good for you! We, being the fantastic parents that we are, decide that we are going to DVR it and watch it with our kids. I don't know, for family memories or something. Anyway, it recorded yesterday, but Paigerooni wants to watch it tonight. Well, sure, you only have school in the morning, Daddy only has work.

I lose, of course. We start this movie after nine. On a school night.

*sigh*

So the movie begins, and I remember very little. I'm excited, though! Sharing part of our childhood with our kids! Circle of life, and all. But as the movie progresses, I begin to worry more and more about my kids. Of course, they are eating it up. Bryce, especially-he seems to love the 'globlins'. But what a trained parent will notice is that they have moved from where they started watching. Bryce has glued himself to Jeff, and Emmy hasn't left my side. I can only imagine the nightmares they'll have.

How could I do this to my kids? How could our parents have let us watch this awful movie? I mean, I'm enjoying it as an adult, but my poor kids will be traumatized! Either that, or they're going to start begging the goblin king to take each other-and probably Dyl, too-off to the labyrinth. I guess I'll console myself that in a few decades, when they watch it with their kids, they'll remember it fondly until they are shocked again by it, as we have been.

On the other hand, I seem to have rediscovered the fact that David Bowie is HOT! Well, young David Bowie, anyways. He's one of those like Prince or someone-not too much to look at, but they just ooze sexuality. Jeff thinks I'm crazy for that. That's alright, though. I mean, I don't fuss when he ogles Scarlett Johannsen.

Anyways, why, you ask, did I title this blog 'the bog of eternal stench'? Well, aside from being a major plot element in the movie, it reminded me of something. It's cool, do you remember the bog? It's one of the goblin king's favorite punishments-chunking people in it. And once you've touched even the tiniest bit, thou shalt stinketh forevereth. But what did it remind me of?

Some of you may know where I'm going with this.

The rest of you may want to stop reading.

Mommies will understand...

The bog of eternal stench exists, my friends. It's in the bottom of the fifty million blowout diapers Dyl has had the last few days. The kind that makes your hand stink even through the thickest wipes and repeated hand washings with smelly good soaps. The kind of diapers that make veteran moms afraid. Very afraid. The stench seems to linger on and on and on and on...

And with that lovely piece of too much information, ladies and gentlemen, this entry has officially become...

Wait for it...

THE BLOG OF ETERNAL STENCH!

Oh, but I crack myself up.




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