It's me again, Margaret.
Thought y'all might enjoy some random today :)
Yesterday, I began cleaning house. I started with the diaper bag. (Yeah, I know, that doesn't *really* count as cleaning house, but cut me some slack. I'm trying here.) I found exactly 5,712 Silly Bandz in the bottom of said diaper bag. This was aggravating, but I let it go.
Today, I started to really clean house. Because I can promise you, it will take me every single day to get this house clean for Santa. Not that I give two shakes about what the jolly fat man thinks, but I want my Christmas morning pictures to look good. Now, we have a large chocolate-colored shag rug in our living room. And guess what I found all in it, around it, and generally covering every square inch of floor space throughout the house? You guessed it. Silly Bandz.
In case you lack a brain, let me break it down for you. Momma (that's me) HATES Silly Bandz :)
So, Emmy and I, being the only ones awake, begin picking these things up. Just when we think we've got them all, five or twenty more appear. Seriously, like little Silly Bandz rabbits live here or something. For some crazy reason, I start thinking about one of the scenes from one of Jeff's favorite movies. But instead of the lines the actor delivers, I change it up and make them my own. Pleased to enjoy the insanity that my brain came up with this morning:
(Oh, and if you've never seen the movie Tombstone, with Kurt Russell and Val Kilmer, you should probably just stop reading because this won't make a lick of sense to you.)
So here's Hollywood's awesome little piece of script:
Wyatt Earp: All right, Clanton... you called down the thunder, well now you've got it! You see that?
[pulls open his coat, revealing a badge]
Wyatt Earp: It says United States Marshal!
Ike Clanton: [terrified, pleading] Wyatt, please, I...
Wyatt Earp: [referring to Stilwell, laying dead] Take a good look at him, Ike... 'cause that's how you're gonna end up!
[shoves Ike down roughly with his boot]
Wyatt Earp: The Cowboys are finished, you understand? I see a red sash, I kill the man wearin' it!
[lets Ike up to run for his life]
Wyatt Earp: So run, you cur... RUN! Tell all the other curs the law's comin'!
Wyatt Earp: You tell 'em I'M coming... and hell's coming with me, you hear?...
Wyatt Earp: Hell's coming with me!
Except it didn't really go down like that in my head. Here's my version...
Momma: All right, Silly Bandz... you called down the thunder, well now you've got it! You see that?
[pulls open her closet, revealing a vacuum]
Momma: It says Bissell!
Silly Bandz: [terrified, pleading] Rox, please, we...
Momma: [referring to a broken Silly band, laying in front of the vac] Take a good look at him, Silly Band... 'cause that's how you're gonna end up!
[shoves Silly Band closer to the vac]
Momma: The Silly Bandz are finished, you understand? I see a Silly Band, I vacuum it up or throw it away as soon as I can!
[throws Silly Band in toybox]
Momma: So run, you cur... RUN! Tell all the other curs the vac's comin'!
Momma: You tell 'em I'M coming... and Bissel's coming with me, you hear?...
Momma: Bissel's coming with me!
So, yeah, I'm insane. I know this. I blame my children.
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